There is no timeline for grieving – it is an extremely personal feeling. And Chrissy Teigen takes the time to cry and remember her third child, Jack, whom she lost last year. The model and cookbook author recently took to Instagram to look back on her life fondly, while looking back on her difficult year.
She wrote alongside a photo of herself and her singer husband John Legend that they have been going to a restaurant called “Frank” – in New York – for 13-14 years now. “I can remember New York a lot lately when things were simple, thinking about everything I have done and experienced not only this year but in my life.”
Teigen continued in the caption, “I’ve been down slightly lately. It kind of started when I thought about the caption for my book and typed “my third baby is here!” like in a cookbook I then realized that my third baby would never be here. Then I realized that I threw myself into the book so as not to think about the real third baby. I don’t really feel like I’ve transformed Jack completely and now that I don’t have the alcohol to numb him things are just… there, waiting to be recognized. I guess what I’m saying here is that life is so complicated. And take the lasagna ??? Wow it was a roller coaster !!!!! (sic) ”
She recently revealed that she dedicated her third cookbook to Jack, who died from the aftermath of pregnancy complications and excessive bleeding. Teigen shared the dedication page of Desires: all together: recipes to love which, according to a People report, will be released on October 12, with the words “For Jack”.
The couple had documented the miscarriage on social media, sharing with their fans and supporters the heartbreaking moments when they realized their third child wouldn’t make it.
“We’re shocked and in the kind of deep pain you only hear about, the kind of pain we’ve never felt before. We were never able to stop the bleeding and give our baby the fluids he needed, despite bags and bags of blood transfusions. It just wasn’t enough, ”they wrote at the time.
Later, Teigen, who has two other children – Miles and Luna – told talk show host Ellen DeGeneres that the the experience had been “transformative” for her. “In a sense, [Jack] really saved me because I don’t think I would have discovered therapy and sobriety and this way to feel really good about myself.
She had said that even though the loss of the pregnancy seems a long time ago, she “still comes to terms with it”. “I go through my closet and see that there are outfits, there are full maternity clothes and there are things that I bought for my eighth month and my ninth month. So, it’s just hard because he would be born this week… You look at these things and you constantly remember him.
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